i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
