I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
