so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
