GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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