He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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