I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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