I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
