wakey wakey hands off snakey
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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