He asked to "fluff my boner.."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
