Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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