I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
