he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
so much tequila, so little girl.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
