Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
