Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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