Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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