she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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