whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
