Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize