Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
