i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
