saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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