Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
