She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Life is so much better after having sex.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
