she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
