I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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