Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
