Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
soo... how was my night?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
