I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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