Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
