Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
