Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
