so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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