Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
