Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
