and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
