Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
P.S. I can't hear my feet
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
