I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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