In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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