you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
