We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize