It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I am one with the molecules
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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