Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
