she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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