Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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