Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just want to make out with him forever
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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