its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
