She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
