shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
