Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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