hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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