So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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