i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
4 words: hood of his car
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
