oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
