I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
