so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
