I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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