There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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