Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
