well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
