So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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