So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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