How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
