She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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