make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize