can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
