wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
