i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I enjoy the company of your penis
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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