my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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