So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
