Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
