Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
